How It Is

If you look into my eyes
if you try to see my soul
you'll be searching forever because nothing is there anymore.
You can crawl inside me and search.
But you won't find anything.
I promise you I'm okay
Don't worry (I say that too much).
'Nothing' is better than 'bad', right?
(That's what you're led to believe anyway)
That nothing is better than pain and feeling empty is better than hurting
At least pain is real
at least its a feeling.

There was a time I wanted nothing more than to make all the feelings dissappear.
                I'd give anything to be back there.
I'm nothing now.

I can dance...but I have no rhythm.
I can sing...but my voice is hollow.
I can paint and I can draw...but there's no heart in it.
There's no heart in me.

You can see straight through me
I'm hollow
You could love me if you want
But I don't think I could love you back
You can't  hurt me anymore
But can you still try?
You know I like to hurt
It's better than this
You know I don't have the energy to make this real anymore

You can try to see my soul
You can try to find me inside this shell
But I guarantee you'll be searching forever
but can you tell me if you find me
Or whatever it is you are looking for
Whatever it is that isn't there
I can promise you, I'm okay
But honestly I don't know
i could say at least I'm alive
but I'm not